I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
