Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
