Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
