Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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