Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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