1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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