I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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