Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
