Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
