he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
