when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
