just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
