have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
