Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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