she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
