there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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