Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
