I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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