Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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