GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
