Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
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Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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