I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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