bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
