i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
