4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
