the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
