hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
