Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
