we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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