belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
