You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
