We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
