i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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