OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
