Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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