Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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