He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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