At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
