it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
