My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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