You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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