so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize