We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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