Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize