found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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