Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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