i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
