I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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