just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
