After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize