Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
