Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
