We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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