Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize