so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
