My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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