Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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