Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
