i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
