i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
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Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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