The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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