hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Randomize